Safety and Advice

Dating Safety Advice and Tips

Jo is the UK’s No. 1 Dating Coach and has been coaching and advising singles for over seven years. While Jo recognises that one of the most important factors in meeting someone new is simply having fun and that most dating rule books are there for tearing up and starting again, she has some basic precautionary advice - and a few entertaining do’s and don’ts – to ensure that you get the most out of your date.


	Choose a public place to meet – never go your date’s house or hotel room, or invite them over to yours.

	Make a finite date – first dates are always better if you arrange to meet for an hour or two, rather then leaving it open ended. You can always stick around if you both want to – or you can make your planned escape with any embarrassment.

	Let a good friend know where you are and ask them to call you half an hour into your date – it’s unlikely you’ll need to disappear with any urgency or feel uncomfortable on your date (even if they don’t have the instant ‘wow’ factor) but better to be prepared. There’s a great app on the iPhone (and others), which allows you to pre-arrange an incoming call at a time to suit you.

	Trust your instincts – if you feel intimidated or ill at ease in any way and want to leave the date early, don’t be afraid to make your excuses and leave. Again, it’s unlikely, but it does happen and your initial instincts are very often right.

	Go easy on the alcohol. Leaving a drink unattended with a stranger is a definite no-no of course, but while a glass or two of wine is a social lubricant, getting plastered on a first date might lead to all sorts of regrets later. Stick to the OWOW principle – one wine, one water!

First Date Do’s and Don’ts

	Do

	Make eye contact It’s simple, sexy and very effective in knowing what your date might be thinking.

	Make your date feel at ease They might feel pretty nervous too, so try to let them see that you are able to relax and enjoy their company.

	Smile and laugh It shows that you are interested in your date and amused by what they have to say.

	Pay compliments Don’t go overboard here, but a little flattery goes a long way. Tell them that they’ve chosen a terrific venue or that they look smart.

	Listen By listening carefully to what your date is saying, they’ll feel good about themselves. You’ll be able to respond in a more interesting way too.

	Flirt gently You’re on a date and you (hopefully!)fancy them.

	Mention their name at least once This will help make your date feel special.

	Hold a little back… Retaining a little mystique will make your date want to see you again and know more.

	Ask him questions about their life Don’t get too personal here, but chatting about work, family and friends and their interests are all pretty safe options. Religion and politics are a no-go.

	Exude confidence A confident, self-assured date is sexy date.

	Be yourself Your date wants to get to know you, not someone you might think they’d prefer. However tempted you are to dress up your life, it’s impossible to maintain for long anyway.

	Say thank you Yup, just the way mum taught you!

	Don’t

	Be late Five minutes is fashionably late. Any more and it’s bad manners.

	Tell your date your life story It’s rude and vain and no one should open all his or her presents at once!

	Talk about your exes Definitely not a first date topic of conversation. And don’t ask your date about theirs either.

	Grumble or moan OK so the bar is too hot, the waiters are churlish, but unless your date initiates the discussion, don’t go there.

	Keep interrupting your date’s conversation You may be really keen to make your point, but it’s more polite to hold fire until they’ve finished talking.

	Look fed up or over their shoulder Your concentration should be on them and even if the date is not as good as you were expecting, just be polite.

	Be sarcastic Sometimes nerves kick in and make us sarky. It’s not good on a first date and may even appear just plain rude.

	Over-flirt Unless you’re intending to end the night in the bedroom.

	Forget their name or use a different name Ouch!

	Tease your date Unless you feel really comfortable in their company, it might cause offence on a first date.

	Be too keen Desperation – whether you’re after a long-term relationship or a casual fling – is not an attractive look.